IF THERE AINT NO SNOW reblog

It's December, good time to reblog:

IF THERE AINT NO SNOW: TOP 10 RAMONES WINTER SKETCHES--List #9

http://ramoneshummingasickeningtune.blogspot.com/2013/12/if-there-aint-no-snow-top-10-ramones.html









Hope you have a good end of the year!

 

 

CHOP HER UP AND I DON'T CARE Redux: TOP 10 RAMONES MOVIE MASHUPS

RAMONES: HUMMING A SICKENING TUNE has been on hiatus as I have moved again. While I tie up a few last details, here is a re-edit of CHOP HER UP AND I DON'T CARE from my other blog BUNCOMBE SHINOLA, which explores video mashups of classic RAMONES songs with famous films.

A few deleted clips have been replaced, some new finds added, and the full movie TOMORROW THE WORLD, which may have influenced DEEDEE's similarly named tune, is now included.

Up next: TEENAGE LOBOTOMY!  Talk to you soon.



CHOP HER UP AND I DON'T CARE Redux: TOP 10 RAMONES MOVIE MASHUPS






Quick shortcut to RAMONES: HUMMING A SICKENING TUNE homepage



RAMONES: HUMMING A SICKENING TUNE









Art by SAMY THE KAY

SAMY THE KAY

IF THERE AINT NO SNOW: TOP 10 RAMONES WINTER SKETCHES--List #9

Wintertime in NYC is a confounding cauldron of clashing extremes, and this is reflected in the music of the RAMONES. On one hand, a dazzling postcard of ice capades noir where Breugel meets Gotham amongst skyscapers surrounded by gently swirling snowflakes; on the other, a brutal, unforgiving storm terrain of sub-freezing suffering-- where the menace to the insufficiently sheltered is potentially lethal. (Perhaps even JOEY must be counted amongst those who have fallen prey to the season's --sometimes, subtle-- dangers.) The RAMONES felt it all, and their depictions of Yuletide, year-end flavors transformed into a discernible arc over time, as the culminating decades brought even their sick, outsider humor to a gradual acceptance of shivering sentimentality. In sequential order, here's the band's snowiest ruminations...




1. SWALLOW MY PRIDE
     Early on, the late season is used primarily only as a marker of time, but the tinge of chilly disillusionment is already tangible-- and will only become more prominent as the years pile up.

SWALLOW MY PRIDE







2. WE'RE A HAPPY FAMILY
     The initial extreme of the RAMONES' abberant seasonal ambivalence, this track underlines the deviantly criminal familial disintegration with the obvious unlikelihood of December correspondence.

WE'RE A HAPPY FAMILY







3. I WANTED EVERYTHING
     The embittered childhood verse lumps Xmas morning disappointment with other religious holiday derision, sideswiping Easter as well.

I WANTED EVERYTHING







4. DANNY SAYS
     This unforgettable snapshot of touring downtime finds our protagonist thwarted from a surfboard excursion by ludicrously low seaside temperatures. But even at minus 20, the absence of snowfall only triggers longing for the wintry tableaux of their familiar New York turf.

DANNY SAYS







5. THE KKK TOOK MY BABY AWAY
     JOEY's winter of discontent kicks off as his sweetheart's extended west coast trip for the holidays is tragically interrupted. If one is willing to accept the behind the scenes love triangle subtext, this track makes an interestingly angry bookmark to the later, matured detente of MERRY XMAS (I DON'T WANNA FIGHT TONIGHT) (see below).

THE KKK TOOK MY BABY AWAY







6. MY MY KIND OF A GIRL
      In the Wonderland of his romantic reminiscence, an older JOEY completes the swing to correlating the colder climates to his yearning nostalgia.

MY MY KIND OF A GIRL







7. HOWLING AT THE MOON
     Outside of rose coloured recollection, the present reality is delineated plainly in this track's middle eight, as wintertime's despair finds an antidote only in the joyous triumph of summer's celebration.

HOWLING AT THE MOON (SHA LA LA)







8. I'M NOT AFRAID OF LIFE/ PLANET EARTH 1988
     TOO TOUGH TO DIE's pair of apocalyptic downers both bear biting, world weary wintry realism. And if a lack of childhood holiday celebrations seems a bit pat compared to PLANET EARTH 1988's other enumerated dystopian anxieties, I'M NOT AFRAID OF LIFE features an unforgettable image of a mentally ill transient shaking against the freezing elements. The lyric then questions how the aged are ostracized, and with the only marginally successful RAMONES looking back at an ever growing number of winters, it's impossible to not imagine them singing this line self-reflectively.


I'M NOT AFRAID OF LIFE







PLANET EARTH 1988







9. MERRY XMAS (I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT TONIGHT)
     The christmastime contempt of WE'RE A HAPPY FAMILY comes full circle as the RAMONES deliver a unapologetic, straightfaced seasonal singalong. If its poorly timed appearance was not quite as clumsy as ROCKAWAY BEACH's odd November release, it certainly did not help its fortunes. The irony-free detail of the verses' Santa clauses is perhaps less interesting than the ceasefire between JOEY & JOHNNY it sideways suggests, and with the departure of DEEDEE, the reappearance of MARKY, and the recruitment of CJ, this song establishes an uneasy truce which the band would adhere to until the end.

MERRY XMAS (I DON'T WANNA FIGHT TONIGHT)







10. CHRISTMAS (BABY PLEASE COME HOME)
     No longer held in check by the RAMONES format once they disbanded, JOEY released a solo single unabashedly covering the DARLENE LOVE classic CHRISTMAS (BABY PLEASE COME HOME), which originally appeared on PHIL SPECTOR's 1963 various artists production A CHRISTMAS GIFT FOR YOU. (A decade and a half later he would commence work on THE RAMONES'  END OF THE CENTURY lp.) JOEY's performance is predictably heartfelt and charming.

CHRISTMAS (BABY PLEASE COME HOME)










BONUS!
     JOEY's solo CHRISTMAS SPIRIT IN MY HOUSE ep also featured a considerably altered version of MERRY XMAS (I DON'T WANNA FIGHT TONIGHT). Definitely less rockin' than the original, but an entertaining performance over a unique arrangement.



JOEY RAMONE-- MERRY XMAS (I DON'T WANNA FIGHT TONIGHT)











Picture: JOEY & MICKEY LEIGH & Santa Claus

AND PLAYED MY FAVORITE SONG TOO: TOP 10 RAMONES LOVE SONGS--List #8

Image by DANCEHALL21! For more of her great work, click here (DANCEHALL21) or links at the end of the blog!






It's been an interesting reversal over time: Originally considered so raw and abrasive that record labels were skeptical whether or not they were even recordable-- but in the present, rightly viewed as so varied, melodic and well produced that the 'punk' label seems too limited a term of description. Ironically, this might have been viewed favorably by the RAMONES, who were initially reluctant to be pigeonholed into the classification. Their eventual dexterity in a variety of approaches beyond their initial two minute blitzkrieg fuzzball barrage aesthetic proved quite surprising, but nothing was so startlingly unexpected as the protopunks' utter mastery of the ballad-- the heartfelt lovesong.

JOEY's vulnerable personality made his inclination towards softer material predictable, but DEEDEE's troubled upbringing left him open to the nakedly confessional composition as well. TOMMY, of course, relished the opportunity to flesh out melodies and arrangements with wider instrumentation, and even JOHNNY seemed to instinctively grasp that for the records and concerts to have better flow, there must be spots where the listener had a chance to breathe. Of course, his decision to become entangled with (and eventually marry) JOEY's girlfriend cemented the central emotional drama inside the band during their later years, and their steely determination to persevere and endure despite such internal turmoil eventually gelled into their raison d'etre.

On one hand, BEAT ON THE BRAT, PSYCHOTHERAPY, COMMANDO and NOW I WANNA SNIFF SOME GLUE. On the other hand, some of the most sincere, attractive and endearing ballads any band has produced since the 60's. They stand as powerful evidence of the RAMONES' often overlooked, ambitious versatility, and spotlighted here, in sequential order, are the 10 that soar highest.








1. I WANNA BE YOUR BOYFRIEND
     TOMMY immediately pulls a rabbit out of his hat with the haiku-like precision of this minimalist masterpiece. An advance indicator of what was to regularly follow, this early fan favorite also had a few other interesting early versions, check 'em out HERE --->> RAMONES EARLY DEMOS

I WANNA BE YOUR BOYFRIEND







2. BABYSITTER
     The RAMONES show impressive development on this followup to I WANNA BE YOUR BOYFRIEND, which knowingly expands on the earlier track's charms in almost every way: melody, lyric, arrangement and production. JOEY's amusing lament on this previously rather difficult to find track is beguiling and compelling.

BABYSITTER







3. HERE TODAY GONE TOMORROW
     From out of nowhere ROCKET TO RUSSIA dropped this unprecedentedly serious track, not just proof of how brilliant this 'joke' band could be, but also a devastating example of how powerful a tool minimalism can be, wielded in ANY artistic endeavor. Impressive in the studio version, but also an extremely stunning show stopper on IT'S ALIVE.
     
HERE TODAY GONE TOMORROW







4. NEEDLES AND PINS
     LET'S DANCE proved how effectively an oldie could be retooled into the RAMONES' formula, but CALIFORNIA SUN, and especially this track, showed that the band could meet the originals and match them on their own turf. Simply, an absolute improvement on a cherished classic-- with another perfect vocal from JOEY, but also featuring deft genre details from DEEDEE and MARKY, and displaying one of their best initial attempts at integrating acoustic guitars.

NEEDLES & PINS







5. QUESTIONINGLY
     Melodically, one of the band's most uncharacteristically subtle, and lyrically, one of their most romantically hardboiled. The cathode ray whiskey stupor and wailing guitar figures could have come straight out of a Country & Western song, but the incorrect conjugation of the verb 'to know' reassures you that this is, indeed, still the RAMONES.
 

 QUESTIONINGLY







6. I WANT YOU AROUND
     For the ROCK 'N' ROLL HIGH SCHOOL soundtrack the RAMONES concocted one of their most perfectly heartfelt pleas, full of acoustic guitar, a hypnotizing minor key middle, one of MARKY's finest contributions, and a winningly dead on mix (no need to bother with the inferior, more electrified demo version). Surely one of the defining vocal performances of JOEY's career, this was wisely chosen as an extraordinary centerpiece sequence in the ALLAN ARKUSH film.

I WANT YOU AROUND







7. DANNY SAYS
     With girl group mastermind PHIL SPECTOR at the helm, it was elementary that a gorgeous ballad would spring from the hopeful breakout collaboration which was END OF THE CENTURY. However this bafflingly ended up NOT being the heavily overblown and orchestrated cover of the RONETTES standard BABY I LOVE YOU (an unquestioned 60's SPECTOR triumph) but instead the dreary portrait of touring drudgery DANNY SAYS, which is transformed from the humble demo into one of the towering accomplishments of both the band and producer's careers. Unmatchable verses, full of strange and longing details, propel an ingeniously cumulative dense mix, where not a single note played or sung seems out of place--certainly a rarity for this album.

DANNY SAYS







8. MY-MY KIND OF A GIRL
     With the later section of their career underway, the RAMONES once again go back to the I WANNA BE YOUR BOYFRIEND well, with surprisingly dazzling results. Sporting an altered rhythm and evocative lyric, the song absorbs and reapplies the lessons of SPECTOR into a more comfortable realm. MARKY is a bit shaky--right before his temporary 'retirement'-- but this only adds to the appeal as the remainder of the group flaunts impassioned, weathered, primitive perfection.

MY-MY KIND OF A GIRL







9. SHE BELONGS TO ME
     I'd have to admit, the other 9 songs on this list were no brainers to me, but for the 10th choice i was met with a frustrating logjam of equally merited options. Finally I elected this track, for despite being written by DEEDEE, it is one of the truest representations of the bitter JOEY/JOHNNY love triangle which exists on their records. (Apparently THE KKK TOOK MY BABY AWAY ranks as well, but that isn't a ballad.) The ambitious production by JEAN BEAUVOIR is marred by some galling synthesizer keyboard embellishment, but lemme tell ya-- the 80's were tough on everybody. P.S.- the other also rans were I REMEMBER YOU, RAMONA, 7-11, OUT OF TIME, SHE TALKS TO RAINBOWS and CAN'T GET YOU OUTTA MY MIND. I don't think they really count, but also under consideration were DON'T COME CLOSE, WHEN I WAS YOUNG, SWALLOW MY PRIDE and WAITING FOR THAT RAILROAD.

SHE BELONGS TO ME







10. I WON'T LET IT HAPPEN
     Late in the game, the band unleashes an amazingly pure serving of the soft sell-- arguably this release's most pristine track. Borrowing heavily from a similarly entitled SLADE song (see SAME AS THE FIRST-- LIST #6), JOEY wraps his ethos around the acoustic guitars one more time, with age-proof results.

I WON'T LET IT HAPPEN











As always, one bonus for you--  a moving DANNY SAYS at one of JOEY's last appearances, surrounded by friends (song starts at 3:30).

JOEY RAMONE DANNY SAYS












The extremely cool art headlining this blog was created by DANCEHALL21. You can check out more of her often punk- and RAMONE- related work at the following sites. Thanks again for granting permission to utilize your superb designs!


TUMBLR! --->> DANCEHALL21


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RAMONES: TOP TEN '1-2-3-4's! -- List #7

The RAMONES often insisted that they almost immediately resorted to a shouted 1-2-3-4 start to their songs due to an inability to master the 'silent count.' Soon, however, the novelty of the oft repeated intro struck their fancy, and they began to relish the relentless recurrence of the gimmick. Quickly, the retooled weakness morphed into one of their most beloved, identifiable eccentricities.

In a long career where this device would be wielded endlessly (but perhaps less often on their albums than one might think--see Postscript), there would be presented inevitable opportunity to pick a few favorites. And indeed inevitability is the keyword, for as surely as a RAMONES classic became as likely to follow 1-2-3-4 as the number five, the band themselves represented what in retrospect seems an unavoidable step in the progression of Rock 'n' Roll's history. So without further ado, a tribute to the numerological quartet that is the mathematical key to the heart of the RAMONES' sound.

In chronological order. Naturally.




1. I DON'T WANNA BE LEARNED/I DON'T WANNA BE TAMED
     Straight out of the gate the RAMONES unapologetically and unaffectedly kick off one of their earliest efforts with their soon to be trademark. Even at this embryonic stage, DEEDEE sounds unashamed and ultra-confident. Also noted for the (non-) record: I CAN'T BE, a similarly obscure pre-debut demo, which catalogues an amusing 1-2-3 (cohabitation, procreation and housecleaning.) This denotes a deadly triumvirate of domesticity which should be avoided at all costs.


I DON'T WANNA BE LEARNED/ I DON'T WANNA BE TAMED





 I CAN'T BE





2. NOW I WANNA SNIFF SOME GLUE
     The early appearance of a 1-2-3-4 triggering the title chant is trumped shortly thereafter by a unique count all the way up to 8, building extra expectation before the heavy middle section riff commences.


NOW I WANNA SNIFF SOME GLUE





3. TODAY YOUR LOVE, TOMORROW THE WORLD
     A normal 1-2-3-4 opens the debut's classic closer, but in fitting with the Germanic theme DEEDEE sparks the unforgettable coda with a countoff 'auf Deutsch.'


TODAY YOUR LOVE, TOMORROW THE WORLD





4. COMMANDO
     DEEDEE amusingly begins playing his bass even before he completes the opening kickoff, but of course this track's most notable 1-2-3-4 remains the 'rules' militarily mandated by the group. Strict adherence to Der Vaterland, Capitalism, culinary Orthodoxy and maternal reverence all get equal time.


COMMANDO





5. SHEENA IS A PUNK ROCKER
     One of the less noted details which helps make this track such an exhilarating thrill is that we enter only upon the last 4 of DEEDEE's opening count, causing a tangible, nervous anticipation for what is to follow.


SHEENA IS A PUNK ROCKER





6. CRETIN HOP
     This track brandishes a childhood nursery rhyme towards its nefariously celebratory devices, utilizing the (literally) odd count of 4-5-6-7 to better accomodate the subnormals' likelihood of rapturous ascendance.


CRETIN HOP





7. ALL THE WAY
     Amidst the bloated production techniques piled upon the END OF THE CENTURY LP by PHIL SPECTOR, the band reassuringly (albeit after a heavy introductory section) blasts into the meat of this track with the standard countoff. Perhaps the album's least galling display of studio muckery, this is the sole appearance of 1-2-3-4 on this release.


ALL THE WAY





8. DANGER ZONE
     This TOO TOUGH TO DIE cornerstone features a hilarious, 'studio verite' exchange between DEEDEE and JOHNNY even before they can get to the countoff.


DANGER ZONE





9. I LOST MY MIND
     This rather calculated throwback to the classic early approach from HALFWAY TO SANITY begins with certainly DEEDEE's most confused sounding instigation. Did he begin the 1-2-3-4 backwards?


I LOST MY MIND






10. I DON'T WANNA GROW UP
     For their farewell abum, the RAMONES opt to start things off in style, coming full circle with a perfectly mimicked 1-2-3-4 from CJ opening the proceedings.


I DON'T WANNA GROW UP








Postscript:
      A good friend of mine in high school once put forth the theory that the quality of any RAMONES album was in exact accordance and proportion to the number of times 1-2-3-4 was uttered. This worked fine for me- my favorite album was (and is) IT'S ALIVE, where the count in some form or another appears 28 times. The theory seemed to fall apart considerably, however, with the decidedly inferior LOCO LIVE, which featured virtually the same tally. (Years later, as their final concert drew nearer, a troubling, insidious detail began to take hold: a gradually growing pause between 4 and the songs' commencement, until there existed almost space enough to utter 5. A sobering indicator of time's passage.)

But what of the studio albums? A surprising amount displayed not even a single 1-2-3-4: PLEASANT DREAMS, BRAIN DRAIN, MONDO BIZARRO, ACID EATERS, plus the undeniably strong ROAD TO RUIN and SUBTERRANEAN JUNGLE. The theory felt firmer with the records where it occurred only once: END OF THE CENTURY, ANIMAL BOY and ADIOS AMIGOS. It gets wobbly with the inconsistent HALFWAY TO SANITY, which piles up a much higher count of four. From here though, the rule bears out quite effectively: pretty much five total for each of their first three classic LPs (allowing for oddities such as COMMANDO and CRETIN HOP). And with an undebatable sum of six 1-2-3-4s, the grand nod goes to TOO TOUGH TO DIE, their superlative midperiod comeback.

Maybe Dax was on to something.







Photo by DANNY FIELDS. Information on the upcoming documentary about him DANNY SAYS this way:

DANNY SAYS



Collage by JOHN HOLMSTROM. Buy his new book the BEST OF PUNK MAGAZINE this way:

Best of Punk Magazine-John-Holmstrom

SAME AS THE FIRST--List #6: RAMONES TOP 10 MOST BLATANT SONG 'INFLUENCES'

Tommy and Johnny with Fred 'Sonic' Smith from the MC5 and Ron & Scotty Asheton of the Stooges




For the uninitiated: 'influences' are what artists call the older materials that they steal the most from. There is no shame in this, virtually every musician has stood upon the shoulders of those who have come before, breaking the ground and laying the foundation which they build upon. Certainly in the literary and film world such 'borrowing' is common. Even in the realm of the finer arts, such as painting and classical music, tangible development can be charted as one explores the 'influences' each artist favors mapped out over overlapping generations.

Rock 'n' roll, with its basic adherence to somewhat defined forms, is as generally vulnerable to recycling as blues, country and jazz. Often musicians 'pay tribute' to their predecessors by producing intentionally familiar 'homages.' (Ironically, sometimes a more flagrantly unchanged reference can be held in higher esteem than a nicked detail which is knowingly disguised.) As revivalists of what was viewed as a passe form in their time, the RAMONES frequently adopted the varyingly acceptable methods of such appropriation. At times, they worked in specific genre cliches as a matter of respect to preformed parameters. (It's not so much that the intro of YOU'RE GONNA KILL THAT GIRL rips off, say, Runaround Sue by DION, it's that the RAMONES are operating in the similar style and adopting the typified motifs.) Other times, they include a precise quote (musical or lyrical) as a nod to an occasionally obscure, admired prototype. (Witness JOEY's tip of the hat to the SEX PISTOLS' Pretty Vacant in the intro to his solo hit WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD.) And finally, like every other musician (don't let any tell you different!), sometimes they just plain copy stuff that they like.

Which brings us to this list. Usually the RAMONES preferred to keep their retooling discreet. Although ALICE COOPER's I'm 18 prompted a whole slew of the band's material from I DON'T CARE to I JUST WANT TO HAVE SOMETHING TO DO, few might recognize the source material. Same with NOW I WANNA SNIFF SOME GLUE's riff similar to BLACK SABBATH'S Paranoid. (It is quite fascinating how many of the RAMONES' most important antecedents appear here.) In other instances, they wore their influences on their sleeve, sometimes shamelessly so, and that is our focus here. Between JOHNNY's obvious admiration for Fred "Sonic" Smith's look, and the recurrent imagery present in both the POISON HEART video AND the same director's previous success (R.E.M.'s Losing My Religion), it was difficult to confine the list to strictly musical xeroxes. Still, here we have it: the list that a less charitable person might have titled the Top Ten Biggest RAMONES Ripoffs. (Not to be confused with the Top Ten Biggest Ripoffs OF the RAMONES. Perhaps that will be a future list.)





1. JUDY IS A PUNK
     Famously, the RAMONES grabbed the vocal gimmick used on the HERMAN'S HERMITS smash hit I'm Henry the VIII, I Am, noting whether the same or dissimilar verse would be sung next. JOEY's frequent citing of the mild mannered Peter Noone as one of his favortite vocalists was a consistently confusing tidbit to the punk-fearing journalists of the day.







2. BORN TO DIE IN BERLIN
     Perhaps the group most adored by the RAMONES, the STOOGES get riffchecked as ADIOS AMIGOS draws to a close in DEEDEE's harrowing farewell BORN TO DIE IN BERLIN, whose main lick borrows substantially from IGGY POP's petulantly teenage classic No Fun.






3. SUZY IS A HEADBANGER
     JOHNNY claimed that CARBONA NOT GLUE was conceived after some gorging on the classic rockabilly of EDDIE COCHRAN, but it is this track, composed roughly near the same time, which bears an uncanny resemblance to his party anthem C'MON EVERYBODY. The SEX PISTOLS likely noticed this quickly (COCHRAN holding a greater 'icon' status in England), and later opted to cover a hard rock version of the track, as if to underline the similarity.






4. DO YOU REMEMBER ROCK 'N' ROLL RADIO?
     The RAMONES' bizarre obsession with teenybopper sensations BAY CITY ROLLERS (or at least their briefly BEATLES level popularity) led them to copy the chantalong concept of their biggest hit SATURDAY NIGHT for the Hey Ho Let's Go section of their first single, BLITZKRIEG BOP. However, a few years later the band went one step further with the leadoff single of END OF THE CENTURY, which plainly mimicked the actual chant itself. (To be fair, both tracks owe more than a small debt to the pep rally intro of the classic 60's instrumental Let's Go (Pony) by the ROUTERS.)








5. THE KKK TOOK MY BABY AWAY
     The amusing PLEASANT DREAMS classic features a melody which is mostly a dumbed down  take on the similarly un-pc CHEAP TRICK standard He's a Whore.






6. REAL COOL TIME
     This track lifts a key line from Fun Fun Fun by the BEACH BOYS, which may have actualized a tributary allusion to one of the RAMONES' most frequently noted unexpected ancestors, but it also unfortunately made clear how considerably less 'real cool' this track is compared to the earlier untoppable ode to infectious summer celebration.






7. CABBIES ON CRACK
     The NEW YORK DOLLS, who swayed the scene which borne everyone from THE RAMONES to KISS, gets the homage in this MONDO BIZARRO stomper, which bears more than passing resemblance to their 2nd lp fave Puss 'n' Boots. You won't hear any guitar leads like THAT on a Dolls record, however.






8. IT'S NOT MY PLACE (IN THE 9 TO 5 WORLD)
     Perhaps none too wisely, this extremely uncharacteristic PLEASANT DREAMS hodgepodge pulls a startling move in the middle section, damn near playing the melody of the song that the track is referencing, the VOGUES' Five O'Clock World. The RAMONES merely play it slower (!), which should give you some idea of how little this song gets right.






9. LIFE GOES ON
      Wisely relegated to a late 1987 b-side, this rarity quotes transparently from another band favorite, SLADE, whose hit CUM ON THE FEEL THE NOIZE features an identical verse to chorus bridge. Unfortunately, there is no mentioning SLADE in the eighties without conjuring the embarrassing spectre of Quiet Riot, whose megasmash cover of this track was undoubtedly familiar to the RAMONES at the time this was recorded.






10. LIFE'S A GAS/ SHE TALKS TO RAINBOWS/I WON'T LET IT HAPPEN
     Here's a trio of tracks that, while on paper, may not qualify as outright thievery, are all marked by JOEY's late career predilection for copping phrases and titles from rather over-obvious sources. Of course no T. REX fan (which JOEY clearly was) would have looked past a RAMONES song with the same title as the Electric Warrior classic LIFE'S A GAS without pause. SHE TALKS TO RAINBOWS appeared not that long after the BLACK CROWES scored a massive hit with SHE TALKS TO ANGELS, and their common phrases went unnoticed by practically nobody. And finally there is I WON'T LET IT HAPPEN, which is uncomfortably familiar to any SLADE aficianado via their similarly named track. Again, these three all represent less plagiarism than an exceptionally lazy level of derivation. (OK, maybe the SLADE is a worse ripoff than I remembered.)







BONUS!

Of course, we can't resist revealing the source of ROAD TO RUIN's I'M AGAINST IT ethos!










Photo by Robert Matheu

THE SONG RAMONES THE SAME--List #5

Ripping yourself off. All the great musicians do it. A career can be a long time, and occasionally when fresh ideas run a bit short, you fall back onto what you know best. Certainly, working inside a form as restrictive as primitive rock and roll, a certain amount of repetitive recognition is expected--even respected. Other times, the germ of a good idea is underutilized and it gets retooled for a more useful prominence at a later juncture. Either way, here's the Top Ten cases of the RAMONES getting caught at the Xerox machine in the Kinko's copy shop of Rock.



1. ROCKAWAY BEACH/ROCK 'N' ROLL HIGH SCHOOL/TOURING
     Of course the 'Rock Rock' chants of the first couple are a dead giveaway to even the most passive listener, but otherwise the two pieces present a good example of how small differences in stylistically similar material can count for quite a lot, and each stands uniquely on its own. Not the case necessarily with Touring, which was originally planned to appear on PLEASANT DREAMS, just one album away from Rock 'n' Roll High School's END OF THE CENTURY. Eventually the band thought better of it and held back until the much later MONDO BIZARRO. Always a good idea to put some space between the related tracks when recycling this flagrantly.

2. I CAN'T BE/CHINESE ROCK
     The crunchy middle eight of I Can't Be was just too good to be left resigned to a basically unused track, so DEEDEE consequently expanded it into one of his greatest trademark compositions. (For the record, RICHARD HELL only claimed ownership of one verse, which was later discarded by both the RAMONES and the HEARTBREAKERS.)

3. I WANNA BE YOUR BOYFRIEND/MY-MY KIND OF A GIRL
     I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend's strengths mostly reside in its simplicities, but when JOEY opted to bring the song's concepts to full flower for SUBTERRANEAN JUNGLE the results were surprisingly successful, with a lyric full of evocative details and an arrangement full of knowing PHIL SPECTORisms.
    
4.COMMANDO/APEMAN HOP
     This is probably the entry on this list where THE RAMONES put the least amount of effort in disguising the source material. It's still difficult to imagine the balls it required to ask ANIMAL BOY'S producer JEAN BEAUVOIR if he wanted to participate in the opening 'spoken' section of Apeman Hop. (He declined. Naturally.)

5. I DON'T WANT YOU/WHAT'D YOU DO
     No sooner had JOEY's younger brother MICKEY taught the elder teenager the rudiments of ALICE COOPER's I'm Eighteen on guitar than he began revamping the progression for original material. Time and again over the years he would alter the three chord change for new melodies, but this pair is probably the two too closest for comfort.

6. BLITZKRIEG BOP/SOMEBODY LIKE ME
     The 1-4-5 in A is one of the group's most durable terrains. At least one variant of it appears on virtually every record--even one side away from Somebody Like Me DEEDEE's Time Bomb exploits it again (transposed to C though). However, in this case there can be no mincing words. Aside from a chugging WALTER LURE overdub and slower tempo, this SUBTERRANEAN JUNGLE favorite kicks off IDENTICALLY to BLITZKRIEG BOP.

7. HAVANA AFFAIR/PINHEAD
     Another early middle 8 customized and fleshed out into another classic. In a hurry this time too, on the very next LP.

8. IT'S A LONG WAY BACK TO GERMANY/LIFE'S A GAS
     The KINKS-style downward scale was appropriated for ADIOS AMIGOS in the closing album's most existence affirming track. Still less blatant a copy than the MUFFS' Lucky Guy.

9. FREAK OF NATURE/DON'T BUST MY CHOPS
     Both of these late era underraters feature an extremely similar signature riff on their title line choruses. The lessons of Touring have been forgotten apparently as this duo appeared on subsequent releases to each other. GREAT lyrics on the verses of both of these mid tempo thumpers from DEEDEE!!

10. GO MENTAL & YOU SOUND LIKE YOU'RE SICK/PSYCHOTHERAPY
     Any observer who might consider the practice of this sort of reprocessing disdainfully would do well to chart the development mapped out over the course of this triumvirate. The earlier track Go Mental is a strong effort, with more institutionally lyrical details. A few years later You Sound Like You're Sick is more powerfully melodic (though also a tad more lighthearted). One album later Psychotherapy cannibalizes the strengths of both, streamlining into one of their most frenzied and celebrated cornerstones. Sometimes, you gotta just WORK it, kiddos.




Of course, in the end maybe everything is just one long identical song. We'll wrap things up with the closing credits music from the video LIFESTYLES OF THE RAMONES.


Ramones-On-45 Mega-Mix!








Photo by George DuBose

DEUTSCHLAND ÜBER RÄMONES!!-- list #4

In a band alchemy full of jarring contrasts, one of the most interesting (and underdiscussed) is the friction between JOHNNY's jingoistic, Star Spangled Banner waving patriotism and the nagging obsessions of principal songwriter DEEDEE, sprung from his German upbringing. Born to an American soldier married to a German, and mostly raised around military bases in Berlin until the age of 15, he never seemed to shake the childhood images of the WWII rubble from his unconscious--and the doomed, fascistic shadings of his youth never completely disappeared from his lyrics for too long.

For here now, we offer a brief guide to the principal appearances of this flavor in the RAMONES' music. Delving more deeply into subtle references would surely have resulted in a longer list--witness the knowing (and surprisingly literate) wordplay of ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT's locale change from WWI to NYC-- but for now the focus will concentrate on the clear cut. Such military precision ist gut, ja?



1.) BLITZKRIEG BOP--Straight out of the gate on the debut album, DEEDEE transforms TOMMY's paean to rock concerts into something more sinister with the lyrical substitution of just a handful of WWII references and POW (or worse) camp images. The band's baffling mystique is cemented in their bizarre ability to make an exhortation such as 'shoot them in the back now' somehow sound celebratory.

 2.) TODAY YOUR LOVE, TOMORROW THE WORLD--Eins, zwei, drei, vier! This remains the RAMONES track most heavily steeped in German content- from the title, derived out of a misattributed Hitler slogan (altered to reflect either amorous or career minded aims) to the humorous storm trooper bumbling of the verses (which were censored a notch down from the unforgivable "I'm a Nazi baby, yes i am.") The image of the kid being pushed around town seems inseparable from DEEDEE's psychology, and one longs to have further revelatory detail expounded upon.

3.) COMMANDO--Of course rule #1 is 'The Laws of Germany.' However, unless one wants to speculate the source of 'kosher salamis,' any further German connection is minimal at best.

4.) I WANNA LIVE--That this attempt at anthemic life affirmation is purveyed through the paramilitary actions of an imprisoned gypsy prince is a tad bewildering, but there can be no question that when it comes time to take up arms you'd do well to opt for 'fine, German steel.'

5.) JUDY IS A PUNK--One might attempt to discern a meaningful political motivation or connection between the twin locales of Jackie and Judy's adventures-- aiding the Symbionese Liberation Army in San Francisco, and skating for an ice pageant in Berlin-- until JOEY helpfully reminds us that, life endangerment aside, he doesn't know why they do what they do.

6.) BONZO GOES TO BITBURG--The public relations disaster of President Reagan marking the anniversary of V-E Day with a planned visit accompanying West German Chancellor Helmut Kohl to a cemetery near Bitburg-- only to find that, contrary to what they thought, no Americans were buried there but several of the Waffen SS were--led to an uncharacteristically political protest piece by DEEDEE, thoughtfully calculated, but timely and powerful. Despite widespread outcry, Reagan refused to reconsider the ceremony, not wanting for either Kohl nor himself to lose political 'face.' He then exacerbated the situation by supposing that drafted Nazi soldiers "were victims, just as surely as the victims in the concentration camps." Stubbornly carrying through with the plans laid bare that the U.S. leader had no qualms about maintaining a strong persona politically even at the expense of appearing weak morally, and DEEDEE overstated the American exasperation only slightly here when he implored the ex-actor "Don't become one of Hitler's children." (What a difference a decade makes!) Despite the single's notoriety, an infuriated JOHNNY insisted that the song eventually be renamed something less insulting to his favorite president.

7.) EVERY TIME I EAT VEGETABLES IT MAKES ME THINK OF YOU--JOEY takes an unexpected turn at the well, weaving one of his most delirious lyrics around a portrait of the psychosis-inducing experiences encountered by a female friend. Hard to say exactly what happened, but it definitely involved Hiroshima, lettuce, dumpsters and farina--and it has all brought her to a Thorazine induced stupor in the dreary backdrop of East Berlin.

8.) IT'S A LONG WAY BACK TO GERMANY--Proving that even in their vaguest, slightest lyrics the inclination towards the inclusion of this durable turf was impossible to resist for any significant stretch of time.

9.) ENDLESS VACATION (demo)--This bonus track demo of one of DEEDEE's vocal appearances on TOO TOUGH TO DIE is notable for his out of nowhere end of song adlib--omitted in the later version--  maniacally intoning 'Deutschland! Deutschland!' until the final chord. Any connection to the track's actual lyric is imperceptible, and one is left with the impression that his obsession is so pronounced that he could begin babbling about Germany without provocation at any point.

10.) BORN TO DIE IN BERLIN--The 'little German boy' is magnetically, inexorably drawn to his final resting place. Hypnotically, over a lifetime, like an elephant lumbering towards the secret burial ground, the spot to ultimately lay one's head seems unavoidably predetermined. DEEDEE's last major contribution to the band is devastatingly world weary (he even sings a bleak verse auf Deutsch--go here for a translation: RAMONES BORN TO DIE IN BERLIN), and one is surprised only to find that his prophecy was incompletely realized, succumbing in the tacky confines of the City of Angels instead of settling into the soil of the Vaterland which so fueled his visions.



Of course, even after DEEDEE's departure from the band these predilections could not be quelled, and we'll conclude this topic with a couple of solo era testimonies. The first is notable for a unlikely concern regarding soccer match safety, the second offering-- from the inexplicable DEEDEE KING era-- is notable for a rap in the native tongue(!).



DEEDEE RAMONE WHY IS EVERYBODY ALWAYS AGAINST GERMANY?









DEEDEE KING GERMAN KID








This way to the RAMONES MUSEUM BERLIN website!

DIVING IN FOR A SWIM: A GUIDE TO GETTING WASTED WITH THE RAMONES-- list #3

Gettin' fucked up. Though personal use was often denied or dodged—earlier more as a matter of careerism, and later more as a matter of aging as public figures responsibly (especially as health concerns became worrisome)—there can be no mistake: in the music of the RAMONES the topic of non-sobriety pops up as subject matter with some frequency. Admittedly, the band's lyrical landscape was often a somewhat cartoonish semi-reality, but through sheer specificity and repetition they cemented a certain familiarity. This ironically exacerbated situations in which they attempted to joke about it, and the already blurry lines were muddied further as members later wrestled with sobriety and its related regrets. (Incidentally, absolutely NO disrespect is meant anywhere here towards DEEDEE, whose premature end surely looms as a meaningful lesson to every fan.)



All judgements and/or endorsements aside, here's a handy guide to the Methodology of Getting Messed Up in the music of the RAMONES.



1. HUFFING/INHALANTS--When a band does a song entitled NOW I WANNA  SNIFF SOME GLUE, it must be expected that this will lead off the list. CARBONA NOT GLUE upped the ante with an expanded list of alternatives, including paint and roach spray. See also: SITTING IN MY ROOM, SOMEBODY LIKE ME

2. BOOZE--For a band somewhat identified with the use of illicit substances, there is a surprising amount of just plain old drinking going on around here. The whole spectrum from hard whiskey (QUESTIONINGLY) all the way down to basic beer (IT'S GONNA BE ALRIGHT) gets the nod. Gin not only gets mentioned (I LOST MY MIND) but a favorite brand is detailed (SOMEBODY PUT SOMETHING IN MY DRINK). Vino gets a lot of exposure over the course of their career, and BAD BRAIN even tips the champagne. The wide realm of responses is covered as well, from the miraculous joy of discovering beer in a soda machine (YOU DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING TO ME) to the cloudy remorse of HAIR OF THE DOG. See also: TOO TOUGH TO DIE, SOMEBODY LIKE ME, DANGER ZONE, I'M NOT JESUS, BONZO GOES TO BITBURG, TOMORROW SHE GOES AWAY, THE RETURN OF JACKIE & JUDY

3. MEDICATION--Whether taken as pills, or administered via IV or hypodermic, the wide array of pharmaceuticals catalogued seems somehow inevitable for a band exhibiting such a deeply entrenched phantasmagoria of pychopathia. Thorazine. (WE'RE A HAPPY FAMILY, EVERY TIME I EAT VEGETABLES IT MAKES ME THINK OF YOU) Tuinal. (PSYCHOTHERAPY) Phenobarbital. (GO MENTAL) However, the last (listed) song on their last album seems to make a point where all this leads: When the going gets tough, the tough end up on morphine (BORN TO DIE IN BERLIN). See also: I WANNA BE SEDATED, SMASH YOU

4. HEROIN--Clearly, composing one of the definitive songs on the subject (CHINESE ROCK) was insufficient, for a seeming floodgate opened. From the brazen admission of WARTHOG and PSYCHOTHERAPY to numerous later cautionary admonishments (with perhaps an unavoidable pit stop with Sid & Nancy along the way in LOVE KILLS), the band wields the imagery of the user time and again--sometimes brutally realistic, sometimes a reflective metaphor for societal ill (EAT THAT RAT). See also: LEARN TO LISTEN, MAIN MAN

5. L.S.D.--Of course the RAMONES devoted an entire album to tripping musicians of the 60s (ACID EATERS), but besides the persistent rumour that LSD was the 'Something' put in RICHIE RAMONE's drink which led to a meltdown he ended up writing a great song about, the substance makes its lone appearance in the suitably demented I WANNA BE WELL.

6. COCAINE--BORN TO DIE IN BERLIN features a revealing vignette of DEEDEE sprinkling some blow on the floor, perhaps more likely to partake than to dispose (there's a scene oddly similar to this incident in the concert sequence of ROCK 'N' ROLL HIGH SCHOOL). However, besides the drug's appearance in one of my favorite RAMONES legends (see RAMONES-IT'S ALIVE: FUELED BY ELTON JOHN??!) it primarily functions in the band's lyrics as a prop of the detestable. See also: DON'T BUST MY CHOPS, CABBIES ON CRACK

7. MARIJUANA--The standby gateway is surprisingly scarce, perhaps due to its hippie connotations. A few tracks feature some eyebrow raising 'smoking' suggestions, but the closest they get to a genuine allusion is the name of the insane girl from WHAT'S YOUR GAME. That is, unless you think the 'dope' daddy's pushing in WE'RE A HAPPY FAMILY is this kind. See also: CHASING THE NIGHT, HOWLING AT THE MOON

8. SPEED--Considering how much of the band's reputation is built upon velocity, amphetamines surprisingly only make one appearance: ingested by the primary subject of HEIDI IS A HEADCASE.

9. DDT--No matter HOW fun I WANNA BE WELL makes the semi-outlawed pesticide sound, it is no doubt best to heed the lessons of TEENAGE LOBOTOMY. After all, you don't want to turn out a 'sickie.' Do you.

10. FEEDBACK--Perhaps it's best to wrap this up by considering the path of the surprisingly anti-drug I'M AGAINST IT and partake in ALL THE WAY's recommended high: feedback blasting in your ears. There is surely not a single RAMONES fan who could not relate.



Pssst... heard this one??


RAMONES TOMORROW NEVER COMES










Photo by Danny Fields

GET THE GLORY: RAMONES--TOP 10 CRAZIEST NAMEDROPS list #2

Since the RAMONES' music often seems to exist in a demented, cartoonish semi-reality, when an actual, real-life public figure makes a lyrical intrusion the effect can be momentarily disorienting. This is heightened by their wildly fluctuating taste and motives in choosing the so honoured. Certainly JOEY, after the relatively focused DO YOU REMEMBER ROCK AND ROLL RADIO, was apt to stack numerous namedrops with little regard for contextual appropriateness. Still, the roll call stands as an interesting (if hazy) barometer for the levels and circles of their fame and obsessions.

(For this list, we'll attempt to avoid the over obvious. Entire songs dedicated to RONALD REAGAN, TIPPER GORE or SID VICIOUS & NANCY SPUNGEN hardly qualify as name drops, and even pre-PET SEMATARY there is an inevitability to STEPHEN KING's appearance.)


1. CHARLES MANSON/ADOLPH HITLER (tie)--The RAMONES unwittingly forge a lesson best heeded: If you're going to lyrically mention the world's purest avatars of evil, perhaps it would be best avoided in songs that you are going to consider as singles. (GLAD TO SEE YOU GO & BONZO GOES TO BITBURG)

2. FRANK ZAPPA-- JOEY attempted to align himself with not only prime PMRC target OZZY OSBOURNE but perhaps more bizarrely, with their eloquently outspoken opponent FRANK ZAPPA. One can only imagine the Jazz/Art rocker's response at the 'menage quatre' with the future Second Lady hinted at in the chorus. He also makes a second appearance later in the life of HEIDI, the only bearer of such distinction. (CENSORSHIT & HEIDI IS A HEADCASE)

3. ALAN FREED--The RAMONES were always happy to give lip service to their supporters on the airwaves, even equating local DJ VIN SCELSA and TV Host UNCLE FLOYD with the well known MURRAY THE "K" and ED SULLIVAN (all namedropped elsewhere.) But with 50s Radio pioneer FREED they admirably shouted out to a true pop culture martyr, whose place in history is forever overshadowed by the better known, lesser deserving and genuinely weaselly DICK CLARK. (DO YOU REMEMBER ROCK AND ROLL RADIO & IT'S NOT MY PLACE (IN THE 9 TO 5 WORLD))

4. BOB DYLAN-- The same song's mention of the DEAD BOYS' STIV BATORS is less surprising, however it is amusing that as an indicator of mental instability, merely listening to the early lps of the former is given equal credence as posthumously snorting drugs off of a photo of the latter. In the future THE RAMONES will give MY BACK PAGES a begrudging go. (HEIDI IS A HEADCASE)

5. MOULTY-- Bravely and endearingly, along with JOHN LENNON, T. REX, JERRY LEE LEWIS (and later, THE BEACH BOYS) the one handed drummer of 60s garage combo THE BARBARIANS is given the spotlight. Ater an accident forced him to play with a lefthanded hook, VICTOR MOULTIN was immortalized in their hit Moulty (Don't Turn Away) where he recites his life's details--an inspirational mascot clearly pivotal to their underdog aesthetic. (DO YOU REMEMBER ROCK 'N' ROLL RADIO & 7-11)

6. LESTER BANGS-- Rocks' greatest writer, CREEM magazine's fearless and brilliant critic was an early champion of the group, so this mention is far from surprising. However, it is interesting that the next notable time he pops up will be in R.E.M.'s worldwide smash hit single IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT (AND I FEEL FINE), a song with an even more obnoxious, parenthetical title. (IT'S NOT MY PLACE (IN THE 9 TO 5 WORLD))

7. 10CC-- After ROCK AND ROLL HIGH SCHOOL's shooting wrapped, it pleased JOEY to note many of the celebrities encountered on the trip- END OF THE CENTURY collaborator PHIL SPECTOR, B movie legend ROGER CORMAN, even ALLAN ARKUSH, the film's then little known director. This spilled over to the next record PLEASANT DREAMS, where the unfortunate involvement of stunt producer GRAHAM GOULDMAN led to the startling lyrical  inclusion of his band--purveyors of such slick seventies schlock atrocities as The Things We Do for Love & I'm Not in Love. To his credit, GOULDMAN also penned several key sixties hits, such as the YARDBIRDS' For Your Love, which the RAMONES briefly considered covering in tribute. Better that, than this. (IT'S NOT MY PLACE (IN THE 9 TO 5 WORLD))

8. THE RUSSIAN BEAR-- In concocting a wrestling themed track, DEEDEE chose a persona already well covered by THE CRAMPS (and originally, THE NOVAS)- REGINALD LISOWSKI aka THE CRUSHER. However, for his opponent he opted for IVAN KOLOFF aka THE RUSSIAN BEAR, who humourously inspires the protagonist's apprehension. It remains unclear whether in 'real life' these two ring veterans ever met inside the 'square circle.' (THE CRUSHER)

9. CLINT EASTWOOD-- One of two Hollywood legends mystifyingly paid tribute in this embarrassingly namedrop filled track, in the same breath as 10CC no less. At least JACK NICHOLSON has tenuous connections to the band's overall trash culture worldview. RAWHIDE probably explains it, or perhaps they caught a late show of REVENGE OF THE CREATURE? (IT'S NOT MY PLACE (IN THE 9 TO 5 WORLD)

10. MONTE MELNICK-- Longtime manager (and underground rock legend) DANNY FIELDS figures prominently in one of THE RAMONES' most unforgettable songs, but elsewhere on END OF THE CENTURY their long abused road manager (and future author!) cameos in a track as underrated as it is explosively exciting, so he gets the nod. In this list, the motto 'No Melnicks' doesn't count. (ALL THE WAY & DANNY SAYS)


Honourable Mention: Songs where the RAMONES mention themselves by name: RAMONA, IT'S GONNA BE ALRIGHT, CHINESE ROCK, R.A.M.O.N.E.S

RAMONES--TOP 20 'WANNAS' list #1

RAMONES-- TOP 20 'WANNAS'


1. NOW I WANNA SNIFF SOME GLUE
2. NOW I WANNA BE A GOOD BOY
3. I WANNA BE SEDATED
4. I WANNA BE WELL
5. I WANNA BE YOUR BOYFRIEND
6. I DON'T WANNA GO DOWN TO THE BASEMENT
7. I DON'T WANNA WALK AROUND WITH YOU
8. I DON'T WANNA BE LEARNED/I DON'T WANNA BE TAMED
9. I DON'T WANNA GROW UP
10. I DON'T WANNA GET INVOLVED WITH YOU- (Early unreleased song!)
11. I JUST WANT TO HAVE SOMETHING TO DO
12. DO YOU WANNA  DANCE?
13. MERRY CHRISTMAS (I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT TONIGHT)
14. 'I just wanna cuss and fight'- IN THE PARK
15. 'I just wanna have some fun before they throw me in the sanitarium'- ALL THE WAY
16. 'I just wanna have some kicks/ I just wanna get some chicks'- ROCK AND ROLL HIGH SCHOOL
17. 'I don't wanna be a PINHEAD no more'
18. 'I don't wanna be buried in a PET SEMATARY'
19. 'I wanna wanna SHOCK TREATMENT'
20. 'I wanna puke'- WARTHOG and also WORM MAN!

Honourable Mention to the other also-rans of a 'wanting' careeer (hah)  I WANT YOU AROUND--I WANTED EVERYTHING--WE WANT THE AIRWAVES--I DON'T WANT YOU  And finally the odd duo of I WANNA LIVE & I DON'T WANT TO LIVE THIS LIFE (ANYMORE)- (Recorded just a record apart!)



COMPLETE DAILY TRACK BY TRACK RAMONES CAREER OVERVIEW BLOG at

RAMONES-- HUMMING A SICKENING TUNE